Livingston's One Regret

Recently I discovered a book that was given to me by my fourth grade Sunday School teacher named Mrs. Richlin in Boise, Idaho.  To be honest, I had never read it before, and it has remained on my shelf, and in packing boxes for the better part of 40 years.  The book is entitled, Heroes of the Cross and is a story of the great 19th century missionaries in Africa.  In a frantic search for something to read to my own budding fourth grader, Haley, I found it, and have been reading the stories within it about the great adventurers of faith.  One of these stories is about the great Scottish missionary - David Livingston.  By an interesting twist, I also happen to be reading about David Livingston at the moment for my Doctoral dissertation.

You remember David Livingston, I presume?!?  He was the pith-helmeted missionary who worked for the London Missionary Society in eighteen hundreds.  He was the one who, "opened" the continent to Africa to the west.  He was the one who pushed further north on the continent of Africa than any other white person.  His writings journals have been the thing of legend since they were written.  Who can beat lines like; "The great God had an only Son and He was sent to the earth as a Missionary-Physician."  Livingston discovered the mammoth waterfalls on the Zambezi river, and named them after his queen - Victoria Falls.  His most famous exploit was a conquest of the origins of the Nile river.  It was on this trek that he was feared to have died, and where H.M. Stanley found him in 1873 and declared, with a stiff British upper-lip; "Dr. Livingston, I presume?"  Livingston did all of this.  And yet, did you know, that Livingston also lived with a deep and abiding personal regret. This was;

Livingston's One Regret

Livingston confessed to his dying day that his one regret was that he had not taken an hour a day to play with his children!  A wikipedia article on Livingston's family says it best, "While Livingston had a great impact on British imperialism, he did so at a tremendous cost to his family."  Livingston had six children, Robert (who died in the American Civil War), Agnes, Thomas, Elizabeth (who died at two months), William Oswell and Anna Mary.  For whatever reason, Livingston sent his family home to live with his wife Mary, for most of his missionary career, even though the family could easily have stayed with him in Africa.

Having been the product of many previous pastors, I can say that not spending time with kids can be seen as an occupational hazard.  My great-grandpa, Jesse, who did so many great things (moderator of General Assembly, president of a seminary, many books), never spent much time with his kids.  My grandpa, a church builder and denominational leader also never spent much time with his kids.  I can remember my dad saying wistfully to me once that, "My dad never even came to one of my swim meets."  My own dad was considerably better than his progenitors and did spend time with us.  But he still did attend a lot of night meetings.

It is probably unfair to lay the blame for dads not hanging out with kids solely at the feet of pastors and missionaries.  A recent Pew Research Poll found that most dads today spend less than an hour a day with their kids, and less than seven hours a week in total.  This is actually a positive trend, since similar statistics from the 1940's show that most dads spent less than four hours a day with their kids.

My own ministerial career has recently taken a bit of an unexpected turn in trajectory since I stepped down as senior pastor of The First Presbyterian Church of Colorado Springs.  While I was pastor of that church, however, I can say that I almost never saw my kids throughout the week.  The first year of my daughter's life are an erasable blur to me.  My previous call of founder of Highlands Church in Paso Robles was better on the daddy front, as I spent more time with Haley.  But not much more!  In my current call, I have been able to spend more, "quality time" with my kids than ever before.  And the blessing has been all mine.  I have learned that it is possible to both be a good pastor and to be a good dad - simultaneously.  But it does require several hours a day in commitment to my kids.

Garrison Keillor, the great writer and story teller, who has also, often been obsessed with his career to the detriment of his family, has said, "Nothing you do for children is ever wasted."  Livingston, if he were alive today, would surely agree with this sentiment.  And perhaps, at the end of his life, he might not only have been able to point to a great water-fall as his primary legacy, but rather to an even deeper reservoir of love, connection and relationship.  Who knows for sure.  All I can say for certainty is that;

Livingston's One Regret

Will not be my own:-)

What about you?

All For Now,

GB