Monday, November 23, 2015

Take A....D3

This Thanksgiving week I am grateful for so many things.  Right at the top of my list of things to be thankful for are my two incredible daughters - Haley and Sheena.  In the picture above, you can see a dance that I attended last week with my oldest daughter Haley.  The dance was called a "Father-Daughter Dance".  Honestly, I was not that excited about going to the dance when I heard about it.  But then I saw how excited Haley was, as she put on her best dress, and seemed transformed in one evening from a second year old girl to a girl becoming a young woman.  And then there was the week afterward in which almost every day Haley told me, "Daddy, thank you for taking me to the Father Daughter Dance," "I so loved the Father Daughter Dance".  On the wall opposite from my desk, where I now write, is a letter that Haley wrote me, "Dear Daddy, you are a great pastor.  I LOVED THE FATHER DAUGHTER DANCE" (The second part all in CAPS).

Whenever I get a chance to have an entire day with one of my daughters, in our household we call it a


D3 stands for Daddy Daughter Day.

Actually my hope is that I might be able to start a national trend among fathers who have daughters, and encourage them to have a D3 at least once a month.

It goes without saying that girls having positive and healthy male roll models is a rare occurrence in American society today, and at the same time, so vital for the positive healthy sense of self that young girls so desperately need as they get older.  Here is a recent startling list of statistics regarding self-esteem and the adolescent development of girls (from

*  Among high school students, 44% of girls, compared to 15% of guys are attempting to lose weight.

*  70% of girls age 15-17 avoid normal daily activities, such as attending school when they feel bad about their looks (This is also why the recent spate of incidents of one girl ragging on another girl because of their "looks" on Facebook is so detrimental).

*  75% of girls with low self esteem reported engaging in negative activities like cutting, bullying, smoking, drinking, or eating disorders.

*  20% of teens (mostly girls) will experience situational depression before they reach adulthood.

*  Teen girls that have a negative view of themselves are 4 times more likely to take part in activities with boys that they've ended up regretting later.

*  The top wish among all teen age girls is for their parents to communicate better with them.  This includes frequent and more open conversations.

*  7-10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school, and relationships with friends and family

*  A girl's self esteem is more strongly related to have she views her own body shape and body weight, than how much she actually ways.

None of these statistics should be a surprise to anyone.  The signs of their veracity are sadly commonplace on every play ground and high school eating quad in America.  But here's the thing.  All of them are what are known as "Thinking Disorders".  Thinking Disorders are psychological maladies that are, hypothetically, treatable with a strong and healthy input of positive reinforcement and cognitive reprogramming.  The best treatment, however, is of course a strong foundation of confidence and a strong sense of self that is established by a child's family system.  Father's are a crucial part of a healthy family system.

So, if you have a daughter, take a...


Daddy Daughter Day

Do it sometime this week.   The rewards will be innumerable!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

All For Now,


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